The last eight years have been so painful and dark. On many occasions I felt that the only way out was to either runaway from everything or worse end it all. There have been days where I just faked my smile and was crying inside.
During these years, I’ve only really experienced joy on a few occasions, this tested my strength. I thought that this nightmare would never end. All I could see was the negative things and thoughts. There was nothing I could do to lift my emotional state.
After many attempts with short term therapy, four in total. I had my twelve sessions, then discharged. Not once did anyone notice a pattern, this is mainly due to the poor funding for mental health.
In February 2018, I wrote to my MP. She received a letter from the local mental health services, they admitted that my needs were complex and required more detailed intervention. I have been in therapy since March this year, it been hard. There have been days when I have struggled. These were because I didn’t hide from my feelings.
Now, I’ve made so much progress, I’m now having less therapy and learning to accept what happened to me and acknowledge that it’s there but just like an unwanted visitor who pops by to say hello.
Whatever happened to me, I’m more than the sum of these memories.
I’m now moving in the right direction, living life to the fullest.