Funding and mental health

There is a huge amount of people who are struggling with mental health issues in the UK.

Successive governments have promised funding and support for mental health services. However there are plenty of people who really need help.

This also goes for adult autism assessments, the waiting lists are too long. I waited fourteen months, then was only given 24 hours notice for both appointments. Now I’m back on a waiting list, until the end of March. The reason given is a backlog of reports to be compiled.

There are many people who will have to wait for years to get some help. There is something fundamentally wrong with the system.

People are struggling every day. This needs to change.

Control

For the last fourteen months, I have had some semblance of control in the assessment process.

When I started this journey, I was able to chase up doctors or writing to my MP.

Now for the first time I have had to give up control. Not knowing what is going to happen is really frustrating.

The process has also brought up some stuff from my past. Stuff that on reflection needed to surface.

So I have a wait for the feedback appointment.

Why am I putting myself through this?

This is a question that I’ve been asking myself, for a while.

Ten years ago I started this journey, I didn’t know how I would feel or what I would accomplish.

But this journey started when I decided to explore my vocation. This gies back to a conversation I had with my elder brother in 2004.

At the time I was like a lost sheep and struggled to find out who I am

Over the years there has been a lot of introspection and thought.

It was only last year that I realised that, all of us are on a similar journey. Personal to each of us but still valid.

It was a comment from a friend that summed it up.

He said the hardest journey is one of self awareness and discovery. It’s also the hardest journey one has to take.

I’ve realised that, the only way I can find peace is to keep going on the journey.

Now I’m in a quiet period, waiting for the assessment result. Yes I am anxious and nervous. It’s only natural.

In the last year, I have been more authentic than at any time of my life.

A reflection on my assessment

It’s taken a few days for me to fully process and understand my assessment.

It wasn’t easy at all, I had to look back to my childhood and all the problems I had. Most people I don’t know the issues that I have had.

Going back to a time where everything was a struggle and a battle. I had major issues at school. Both primary and secondary school. I never really fitted in. I struggled with my writing and putting things down on paper.

I also had very few friends and was bullied. I spent a lot of my time hiding in the library.

What has this to do with my assessment. Everything, as I found out.

During both the interview and assessment, I lost the ability to speak for a while.

The whole process has been an eye opener about who I am.

Assessment part two

Today I had the formal part of my assessment.

I’m not going to lie, it was hard. The assessment is a series of tasks and questions.

Some of the test was a little childish and some of it hard as I struggled to find the right words.

This whole process has helped me to understand myself better and it has given me a sense of being that I didn’t have before.

I still have a short wait for the results, but whatever the outcome. I know that I have had the chance to find out more about myself.