Masked Ed. #ActuallyAutistic

The Masked Ed, who always smiles. Even though the pain. To be like all others The Masked Ed, living the lie. To make others feel comfortable. Not showing my true self The Masked Ed, who tries so hard. Tries to fit in. But not quite, doing it The Masked Ed, fighting on. Fighting for the […]

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Giving back #ActulallyAutistic

I have been given the opportunity, to give something back. My local mental health Trust, are recruiting involvement representatives. It’s a chance to bring an autistic voice to the table. A lot of times autistic voices, go unheard. It’s like we don’t exist or we’re not capable of being useful. I have found that the […]

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Moving forward #ActuallyAutisic

Yesterday was the first time I’d vent out on my own, sinc lockdown was lifted and first time since diagnosis in 2020. I travelled across London on public transport, which was very hard. Thankfully I had my headphones and a good book. I went to my first autism event, it was a craft fair and […]

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Acceptance as an autistic

For the last few months I have struggled with acceptance. Acceptance of my diagnosis. This has lead to some regression and a drop in functioning. I am beginning to understand that, it will take a few years to adjust. Acceptance, from family has always been something, I couldn’t gauge. I think it’s because I hadn’t […]

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My Shame #ActuallyAutistic

Before I was diagnosed, I would say I was one of those who would pigeon hole people. I would avoid anyone different. I was someone who would infantalise people and talk down to them. I thought I was being one of the lads. Since starting this journey, I have realised that what I was doing. […]

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Back to reality

So after a few weeks of respite, my struggles have returned. The reality of living with ADHD and Autism, is hard. Having to deal with racing thoughts and a mind that never shuts down, is one of the hardest things to deal with. Having to admit that you can’t cope is also I tough thing […]

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