As time move on the struggle with my past seems insomountable. I sometimes feel that I am climbing Mount Everest or a magic rope. I feel that my life has ground to a halt. I feel that the struggle gets harder every day. i know that this is only my perception and not reality.
However, I just want to be able to feel that I can live a normal life with no flashbacks and nightmares. A chance to be free from my past.
I wrote this letter to him as a way of trying to understand.
I need to ask this, why did you do this to me. What made you do it? You have tried to ruin my life. You stole my innocence and left me with so much pain.
You abused your friend’s trust, you hurt more than just me. You hurt my family, my friends and your own family.
However, I feel pity for you. I am endeavouring to forgive you. Not for you but to help me get over this.
This is my daily struggle, something I have to live with. One day I will beat this.