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Winning the battle

After the last five years, I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel. Despite false starts and setbacks. I now see the reason for the pain. I had to face it, to able to beat it.

I’ve walked down a path of pain and darkness. I’ve face my lowest point, the point where I thought I couldn’t go on. I have sat and cried so hard, I ran out of tears. 

Then I realised I wasn’t alone, with friends, with family and with the one who is always here. I am so lucky to be able to share my journey.

There have been times when I’ve said and done things that I’m not proud of. I have no excuses.

As time has passed, I’ve seen myself grow and heal. I feel that my life could have been worse, I could have ended up alone and facing an uncertain future. Five years ago I moved to Coventry, I didn’t want to go but I now see that it may have been a catalyst for me having to face my past. 

Now in hindsight, I see that my past was slowly eating me away. Now it’s like I’ve been reborn. It’s like I’ve been give a second chance.

Even this year I had those bad feelings. There have been times where I wished I’d never started this journey.

Now I know in winning the battle, by making positive choices. Finally dealing with my past and realising that I am the only one who can make this work. The more I think about it, the more I feel that this is a gift. I’ve faced my pain and I’ve realised I’m better for it.

I feel that the future is bright and I will beat this. One day I hope to be an advocate for survivors. 

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