How I’ve changed, I’ve changed in so many ways. I feel that I’ve become more positive, more confident and more open minded,
The thing with being a survivor, is that for years you are constantly hiding behind the shame and guilt. Shame and guilt that burden you and way you down. When I disclosed for the first time, it was like a great weight being lifted from my shoulders.
I have grown so much! I’ve had to try and make sense of difficult feelings and starting a new. The biggest thing I’ve had to deal with is my emotions. After years of bottling up my emotions, I’ve learned that boys are allowed to cry. Tears have flowed often and for long periods.
When I was abused, I lost my innocence. I now have worked on finding and embracing my innocence. Embracing that part was so hard. Inside there was a frightened teenage boy who need to be brought home. I’ve stated that now and he is so special to me.
The one thing that has been ever present has been, my enthusiasm to heal and help others.
I’m now starting to thrive and more importantly starting to inter grate that teenage boy back in to a whole person. There is still a long journey ahead but I’m well on the way.