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Wherever I look at the moment, ther seems to be another media report. Whether it’s another public figure or an institution or something else. The reports are always sensational and hyped up. 
When you’re having to deal with this every day it gets to the point where you just want to shut yourself away. This is how I feel at the moment. I feel that I’m suffering overload. Sometimes I wish thes parts of the news come with a warning “may trigger”. 
I feel that I just wish I could start over and do things differently. The hardest thing for me is that I may never get justice. 
Another thing I’m struggling with is my faith. Five years ago I was preparing to meet the vocations director. This was to be the start of my journey to priesthood. If, things had gone to plan I’d be preparing for the final stages of formation. He took that from me. I just feel that I may have wasted my life to this point chasing pointless dreams. I sometimes that I failed because I’m not an academic achiever or in a high paid job. I just wondered what happened to the life less ordinary. 
I know I’ve made progress but, it’s not path I wanted to take. I seem to have taken the difficult path and not the wide straight one. 


One response to “Struggles.

  1. Your abuser put you on a difficult path of secrecy, lies and pain. You chose to put yourself on a different path to healing. Healing is a difficult path too but the path of healing has rewards that you are worthy of creating. Hang on. You will get there, my friend.

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