Over the last few years, I have struggled with accepting praise. This stems from the abuse and the lack of self worth. I have been trying hard to accept praise but I will always sabotage my good works.
Over the last two and a half months, I’ve learned the hard way. Basically, others constanly saying how well I have done. I’ve had to realise that in some ways my opinion can be wrong. I’ve been told that I woefully undersell myself.
Over the last week, I’ve had to prove myself as stage manager. I’ve had to show that I can keep cool in a crisis. The result was a near perfect production run. Even after the last performance last night, I didn’t take any of the credit. It took several members of the group to persued me that I’ve achieved something significant.
It was only when the director gave his speech, that I realised the enormity of the achievement it was. To coordinate five shows with all sorts things happening. For the first time I truly feel me worth to the group and more importantly to myself.