Because of what happened to me my brain has been rewired. I suffer from chronic depression and Ptsd. These have been compounded by other events. Seven I robbed at knife point while on the way to work. Which has fried more synapses.
I ask why me. I remember that day so clearly. I was walking to the station. I had to use a subway. When I got there there were four young men lurking. One of them had gone after another victim. The other three surrounded me. One pulled out a knife, he said something like hand over you bag or I’ll stab you.
I handed it over. Went home and called the police. The police were already in the area, after the other attack. They took me in a car to see if the attackers were still in the area, they weren’t. The police then took me to the police station to interview me. I really can’t remember much after this.
Only the fact that evening I had visit from my parish priest. He had heard about what had happened and was concerned. This really messed my brain up. It added to my feeling of uselessness. It took me a year to speak to my doctor because I didn’t want them to find out about the abuse.
So, my brain is a total mess most of the time. I don’t know why this popped in to my head. Maybe, it’s part of my story and needs to be told.