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In deep

I’ve not posted for a few days due to still being unable shake off this illness. All I want to do at the moment is sleep. I’m feeling so low at the moment as well.

I’ve been thinking about what happened all those years ago. Thinking about whether I should try and forget it and push it back down. I feel that I’ve gone backwards in the last few weeks. It feels like I have to make a choice. A choice between facing more pain or hiding it again.

I feel I’m in a deep hole with no way out. I keep thinking that I’m going to fail and end up bitter and lonely. People I thought cared about me have just ignored me. So called “Christians”, people who preach Of God’s love but can’t show it to me.

The place I’m in is so deep I now don’t have the strength to climb out of the hole.

So, many dark thoughts rattling around my head.

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