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War inside

Last night I performed my first major role in a play, the character was one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse war. Even yesterday afternoon I thought that I’d mess it up.

There was a war going on inside of me. Was I good enough for the part. Why did I get the part. This battle I’ve fought for so long.

This is the battle all survivors go through, the am I good enough question.

I feel I spend my whole time battling myself. I get angry with myself for the smallest thing.

The part involved me using emotions such as, anger and rage. The conflict inside me at time is so intense and debilitating.

The play went well, I still doubt whether I’m cut out for acting. I find things so hard at times and I feel that I’m just not good enough.

This is my daily battle and the battle for all survivors.

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One response to “War inside

  1. Stephanie ⋅

    Ed-keep writing! Your posts are reassuring that healing happens! Its great to read your story and watch you evolve!

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