This week I’ve realised that I’m actually stronger than I thought. Even though it’s been an awful week. I’m still here. Still fighting. Still helping others by expressing my feelings here.
One thing though, I am struggling to forgive him for what he did. It’s not as simple as saying I forgive you. I’m having to take it one step at a time. Seeing if I can go, one day at a time without hating him.
There have been days this week where I’d wished, I’d never started this journey. I feel sometimes people just see an abused boy rather than me. Ed, the funny, mad and zany person. Sometimes, I see that thirteen year old boy sitting there with him.
There have also been days this week where I’ve let my mask slip. There have been moments of extreme sadness and loneliness.
So, how would I rate this week. Bad and painful.