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Why do I carry on

I really don’t know sometimes why I bother on this journey. The further I move on the harder it is to get any solace from the progress I’ve made. It seems that all I’m doing at the moment is moving backwards.

I seem to be caught in a constant rut. No movement either way. It’s like I’m running on a treadmill. Like I’m on the road to nowhere.

I don’t even want to heal any more. I feel that my life is going nowhere at the moment. I see others make progress.

I really don’t know why I carry on. I feel tired all the time and jumpy. My family care but at the moment I don’t.

I just wish I could put the genie back in its lamp. Is there any hope. If I hadn’t started this journey I’d be oblivious to the whole issue. Why did I start this four years ago and why can’t God just heal me.


3 responses to “Why do I carry on

  1. I remember years ago feeling this way and wishing I had never started my healing journey. Don’t give up. Before things start to get better, you have to get through the worse of it. I can’t tell you where the turning point is but I know it is there. Be gentle with yourself. Take a break and do something that feels good. It doesn’t have to be anything big. Small steps are good. Take a breath, look around, find something to be grateful for in your every day life. (((Hugs))) You aren’t alone. Others have been where you are and you will survive.

  2. I had another meltdown yesterday and was in the exact same place. I am still kinda in it today. I know first hand how hard it is. Please know you are not alone in this fight.

  3. I too resonate strongly with this – both the sense of stuckness and lack of progress and the knowing that there are turning points. For me it has been a spiral journey so there are and have been many times when I have felt stuck, hopeless and helpless and not seeing any way on … and many times when I am more fluid and creative and can find ways to make a difference in my own life and in the lives of others … as you have done by posting this oh so resonant articulation of your and our collective experience. Thank you

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