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Finding myself

This journey of self discovery has lead to the depths of despair and the heights of joy.

When I look back, I see that even in the depths there was hope. The other day I was going through some emails. One stood out, it was to advise my house mates I would be staying in the house permanently. I loved the wording.

Those were very dark days. I couldn’t really say I was living, I was more just existing. Going through the motions and not moving forward. I spent most of my time when not working, in my room just looking into space.

It was like falling in to a pit.

Since I started my job I have started to live once again. I’ve faced challenges and some I’ve passed and some I haven’t.

When I first disclosed a friend said that I’d have to try a repair the damage. I didn’t realise that there would be times when I would feel and act like a kid. And a scared kid at that.

So, I’ve had to go back a start again trying to find the real Ed. The Ed that was meant to be.

Ok, I can never go back and do my life over but I can adjust my life to incorporate the hurt child in to a productive “normal” adult.

I’m a work in progress.

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