I have an opportunity to reconnect with my faith, which I relied on so much early on in my healing. Maybe I let God go because I would have to face the difficult decision. To forgive him for the pain he put me through.
A friend wrote a song called seven times seventy. Basically, saying I have to forgive him for what he did. I’m still not ready to forgive him but I’ve started to forgive myself slowly.
Maybe this opportunity is gong to speed up the self forgiveness. I so miss that part of my life. I miss some of the people and I miss the chance to be close to Jesus. I realise now, in a strange way I miss the feeling of belonging. I now feel that I should start back on that road, just to help me forgive myself.