Events over the last few weeks have lead me to make the decision to pause from the healing process.
It feels like I’ve been fighting for three years now and not making any discernible progress, I am still fighting my mind and my abuser. It seems like he is still running my life. How can I lay this to rest so I don’t have to put up with the anxiety and depression. The feeling of dread when people come near.
I feel like I have no choice but to pause. My sleep patterns are terrible, averaging only 3-4 hours a night. I’m totally exhausted and I know from next week I lose my therapy as I’ve had my 12 sessions. I really don’t know what I’ll do. It feels like I am just not making any progress.
Maybe, I should just draw a line under this and admit defeat. Which is what he wants.
I won’t because I deserve better