Being a survivor is one of the hardest things. You have to live with what happened and deal with the aftermath.
There are plenty of positives that happen on the journey. I have found that for me it has been a journey of self discovery. A chance to try new things and rekindle old. I think that I have changed so much on this journey.
I have had some ups and downs on this journey. When I’m low it feels like all the love in the world has gone. It’s a place so dark and painful that I want to just hide. Also during these time is when the memories are strongest. Memories of him putting his hand down my trousers and start to play with me. These seem so fresh sometimes. Memories of him always being at the house and winking at me. Memories of a frightened thirteen year old boy who was caught in a web of silence and shame. That thirteen year old boy is slowly getting over it. That boy will one day be able to just say, yes this happened a long time ago.
Being able to share this experience is such a healing experience. It helps me to share this and bring it in to the light. There are so many others who are at the start of the journey. I hope that this brings hope to just one person.
I am one of the 1 in 6. We are stronger together.