This journey has taken me a lifetime to get to where I am today. It’s been a lifetime of loss and sadness.
For many years I found myself questioning whether or not I deserve to live. Feeling trapped in the prison cell that I had created for myself. A prison cell of me shutting this out all my friends and family. A prison that there was no escape from. Living in this cell was a living hell. I found that I’d lost friends because I became so inward looking that I did not notice what was happening.
I used to get drunk to ease that pain. Most of the time it made me feel worse. It just made me regress further. I’d start something and always ruin it because I hated success. Success meant that I had to be seen.
The journey to freedom has not been easy as I have had to face my hardest critic. Me. I’ve had to take a long had look to make the decision to move on with my life. Which means making had choices on who I speak to and who I see. I am not at the end of this journey as I believe it is a life long road to recovery.
I would say however that I’ve opened the door to my cell an asked for parole. Which I given to myself.