Since the JS story broke last October, my life has been turned upside down. I had been struggling with depression and doing a full time job.
The struggles have gotten harder as I’m bombarded by media stories about abuse and abusers. Also having to deal with the sick jokes and comments at work haven’t helped. No one at work officially knows what I’m dealing with. They just think it’s “normal” depression.
Not knowing how people will react if they knew adds to the stress. I stopped buying newspapers in October because I didn’t want to be triggered at work. There have been one or two moments when I’ve let my guard down and reacted to different situations.
The way the press have handled this has not been that good. The broadsheets aside, newspapers have been sensationalist at best and down right wrong at worst. There have been one or two positive articles which were in the broadsheets.
The one thing I don’t need is to be reminded of the issues I face every day when I wake up in the morning. As the months have progressed I have tried to be positive. Luckily I have a hobby that means I can get out of myself but sometimes I just want to crawl under a stone and disappear.
I think my reaction to the media reports is one of trying to move forward while having a bungee cord attached.