It’s almost two years since I sat in a dining room in Coventry feeling like I needed to do something to get myself of of a deep deep pit.
I had just disclosed to my family to varying degrees of success. I could not do the job I was doing as a missionary because my mental health was destroyed. I felt useless and a burden on the community I belong to. I had aspirations to be a priest or a member of a religious order.
In the January I had a total breakdown where I was sent to hospital for assessment. Then I felt more useless than before I had nothing to do, doped up on medication so I couldn’t feel much emotion.
One of the pluses was I found in midst of all this turmoil I could cook and write poetry. Still I felt something was missing, a purpose. I was asked to help in the kitchen at the community HQ. it gave me something to get out of bed for.
I was able to hone my skills in the kitchen. In May a decision that at the time felt like the world falling on top of me. I was told by the community that I wasn’t needed. I now see this a chance to start a
again. An opportunity to be the person I’m mean’t to be.
A year ago I started work for a large insurance company in the UK. I could not believe that I got the job. In January this year I moved in to a flat on my own. Stepping in to the unknown. In march I got involved with a drama group.
Since then I’ve have had a large set back in my recovery. In June my depression came back and then it took me three months go and see my Gp. Now I’m back in the mental health system which for me is a blessing as I can now see I need the help.
Last month I made my stage debut with two very small roles. And last week I was given a major role in our next production.
So the answer to the question would be that I have made progress but it’s roller coaster ride of up’s and down’s.