I realise that I’ve started to grieve for what I lost as a child. I’m grieving for the innocent 13 year old boy who was introduced to sexual experiences to young and in a criminal way. The sadness of losing that innocence is sometimes overwhelming as it has clouded all my life since.
It had destroyed my relationships with my family. I have never been able to any sort of relationship because the abuse destroyed trust. I am now having to learn how to trust again. It ain’t easy. I really don’t like people standing behind me but I I’m beginning to trust more people.
My sadness for the 13 year old Ed. The day this happened a happy teenager died inside. Slowly he is being resurrected and integrated into this 40 year old man.
A survivor of a criminal act now starting to thrive and starting to find his lost voice.