I sometimes think who is the real Ed. I look in the mirror and sometimes I see this forty year old man who lives alone. But on other days I see this mischievous little boy with a wicked grin. My sense of humour is coming through and I can be quite a joker (usually bad jokes).
I am aware of the fact that I am seeing different facets of my personality. I think the drama has opened that part of my brain that has been locked a bolted for so long. I enjoy trying to look in to that part of my mind. The only problem is regret, the regret that I’ve let the abuse be my driving force for many years. And not a positive one.
I hope now I’m on a more positive route. This off course still doesn’t answer the question of who is Ed.
Maybe this is for me to discover piece by piece.