This how my faith has helped me.
For years I have been an active Christian. When my abuse came to the fore I had spent a year working as a missionary in the UK. I had to write my testimony for this. My testimony has now changed.
Two years ago my abuse came to the fore. It happened in April while on mission in the north west. By the end of that week all I wanted to do was to die. After the mission I spent two days in a hotel to try and think things through. I didn’t realise the can of worms I would open then. Over the next few months I was increasingly agitated and unhappy. Fast forward to August when after a seminar on self esteem my life changed forever. This seminar opened the way for me to deal with the abuse stuff that had lain buried for 25 years.
In September I finally gave into what God had been leading me to do. To break the SILENCE.
God had prepared the way for me. He gave me good friends who just listened to me( for one of them it was hard).
He then gave me the opportunity to, for the first time just tell my story. As two very close friends just sat listened to me and then pray with me. They said to focus on Jesus’ cross and the tabernacle where the Lord is present. I spent hours sat in the chapel crying and writing like I’ve never done before.
Over the following months I became desperate and lonely. The one thing that kept me alive was the promise of Jesus being there for me. The first time I shared this outside of family and support network was at a weekend for men. This was a real spiritual experience for me as, for the first time I had looked in another mans eyes and felt safe.
I now thank God for the gift of the chance to heal from what happened. And the opportunity to share in this journey.