I’m feeling thoughtful tonight as I reflect on a strange week. A week ago I seemed to be so wracked with anger. Not anger at my abuser but at myself. Then Sunday night I had a revelation, I suddenly felt the urge to pray for my abuser.
Not only pray for him but to seek the courage to forgive him. But I realised I had to forgive myself first. This is harder than I thought. I had spent 27 years beating myself up and hiding this from me.
I have been trying to understand why I have made this decision. I believe that God has brought me to this stage in my healing.
I seem to be changing, I feel more confident in my self. I still haven’t forgiven him. But I want to in time.
As look back I see that I’m healing at a gentle pace.
As the week has come to an end I now am ready to take the next step in my healing which maybe anything.