The hardest thing for a survivor in the early days of recovery, I belief that recovery is possible. This is because we are programmed with a lie. This lie is hammered home at every opportunity by the abuser. They use phrases like “no one will believe you” or “I’ll hurt your family”. Well the second one is true, because when you disclose, it can destroy families. I’ve been so lucky with the support I’ve had, from the moment I told my dad the support has been amazing.
Both my brothers are awesome, we may not agree on everything or anything at times. But we are brothers. They have shown me love, compassion and given me a kick up the arse when needed. The important thing is they believed me. Without question and totally they believed. Same, with other members of the family.
I have to say that the first person to belive me was so wonderful. They sat and comforted me, they also helped me though the difficult first few weeks and months.
The second part of the post is about self-belief.
This I know is a huge issue for survivors, I struggle with this a lot. Especially at work, to the point there are certain words I can’t use. For my first three months in my current job I used the word sorry constanly. Now it’s seen as a joke but I struggle with self confidence.
Sometimes, I question the belief in myself. Now I’m understanding that self belief a matter of standing up for me and having the courage to say no and to challenge things I feel are wrong. I’m now starting to belive in my own abilities.
Whether or not it’s believing a survivor or having belief in ones self. It is so important.
I would say if someone says I was a victim of abuse. Belive them, it may be the first time they have shared or reached out.